Love at the End of the World
Nyia Dykes
“If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you.”
Are you looking out into the world and realizing that there are so many incredibly beautiful and terrifying things happening everywhere all the time? As you observe the world happening in front of you, do you find yourself desiring to have a partner alongside you to love, romantically or platonically, along the way? That feeling of desiring partnership is perfectly valid, but also, my therapist brain wants to ask “Why?” and “How?”
I typically start with “Why?” and “How?” because people always know what's at the heart of the desire to connect, regardless of whether they are brave enough or self-aware enough to say it. As a therapist and a potential partner in understanding you, asking why helps you notice what is really driving your desire to connect.
Why, at this moment, does being alone feel distressing? How would having a significant other, whether platonic or romantic, close the gap between how you currently feel and how you want to feel? Here are a few additional questions I can offer you as a tool to check in with yourself to make sure your desires for connection are authentically rooted, and your choices around connecting are meaningful.
Are you connecting your worth to the presence of a partner or a group of friends?
Is there an underlying belief that challenges the validity of all you’re accomplishing if there is no one special to witness it?
Do you just want someone who you can support and feel supported by?
Without the space to identify and reflect on the whys and hows, it’s less likely that you’ll get what you desire from these connections in the first place, so please come and see me! I’d love to help you figure it out.
Image credit: Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash
